Rebuilding trust in my body

An honest note: sometimes I feel like my body let me down.

The year before diagnosis I was pregnant and my body felt strong; it felt like a shrine. Then it let me down in the most awful way and I needed to learn to trust it again.

I was diagnosed because I discovered a lump. Many people commented “I don’t think I would have noticed something like that.”  It made me realise that many people may not be attuned to their own bodies.

Fortunately, I had always self-examined, knew what was normal, and that familiarity allowed me to act quickly.

It wasn't just the lump though. Looking back at the lead up to my diagnosis, I also didn’t feel “right.” But at that time, I was post-partum; recovering from a C section and sleep deprived and I put it down to that (reasonably so).

Now, when worries surface from time to time, I remember that feeling, that sense that something didn’t feel right. I’ve learnt to check in with my body mindfully and physically – recognising how it feels now. This brings a sense of reassurance.

Public health guidance has shifted in recent years. The focus is on body awareness, not ritualistic self-examination. This does not mean that regular self-examination isn’t important. Being aware doesn’t mean you never touch, examine, or check yourself.

A monthly breast and armpit examination is still advised.

Awareness of what’s normal through daily interactions with your body can help you recognise when meaningful changes happen.

During recovery, I struggled with anxiety-driven checking. I would examine myself multiple times a day for reassurance. I found short-term relief, but long-term, it fuelled anxiety.

I am re-learning to notice my body in ordinary moments - showering, dressing, applying moisturiser, exercising or simply observing how it feels.

After cancer or any health scare, it is completely understandable to want reassurance that everything is still ok. People may find themselves constantly checking themselves, sometimes very frequently. It can feel like a way to regain control.

I worked hard to shift from fear driven monitoring and back to confident familiarity with my body. For many people recovering from cancer, rebuilding this sense of trust in the body is an important part of the healing journey.

It’s not about fear, it’s about connection and empowerment.

If you take one thing from this post, let it be this:

Know your body with everyday interactions

Trust your instincts

Wellness isn’t just diet, sleep or lifestyle - it includes how well you understand and care for the body you live in.